i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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