I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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