he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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