capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
So squirting runs in the family.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Randomize
