If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
You can't motorboat a personality
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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