theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
