is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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