before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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