'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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