whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
