If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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