Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
