After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I've blown a few things in my day
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize