I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
