I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
