You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
