hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
