And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
