He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize