He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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