ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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