I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
