don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
