If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
