Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
