He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
