Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
