More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
