Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
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