I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
