either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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