I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
