Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
