you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Blood and glitter go together right?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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