1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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