Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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