This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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