do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
