Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
50% drunk capacity currently
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
