My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
my sisters under your porch take her home
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
