Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
