Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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