frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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