I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
