just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
