Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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