I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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