kristin has been a bad kristin
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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