Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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