Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Help. Why am I so naked?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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