Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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