Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
