Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
