I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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