Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
where does the pee come out of this thing
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
