so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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