So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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