so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
