from now on my penis is your penis
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize