The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
sex in a hospital.. check
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
