So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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