i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Randomize
