He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
