My hair reeks of homosexuality.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Randomize
