did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
