I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
