four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
this boner is exhausting
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
