listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
