Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
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