My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize