Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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