You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
We don't watch enough power rangers
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
