i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
