i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
