Do you still have your period?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
