plz talk dirty to me
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
