i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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